Today as you drive into Liverpool from your Manchester Home in your chauffer driven Merseytravel Limo we want to say Happy Birthday from us at the Kirkby Times and your friends. We promise you the Inland Revenue will not be informed by us. Is not home to work expenses taxable income? Oh well let's not spoil your birthday celebrations. While it is not quite to the day it is to the month that you came to power. Five years it only seems like a life - time.

We decide that we should call your friends to tell us about you. Guess what? You haven't got any, so we asked for their opinion anyway.

Oh by the way did you read in the back of your Limo the piece in the Guardian that the Manchester Metro. Extension cost has gone from £300m to £900 and that the Dep. Dog has been asked to tell Darling that the price should be met! We will watch that very carefully, to think that Tony could allow such an expense when faced with other pressing items like pensions just for starters. We are sure General that you are in no way interested in that sort of pension stuff when the Tram Set promised for your birthday is not to be, if you can't have yours why should they get theirs we hear you say.


Anyway back to your friends! We asked how you came into the job. Oh dear the knives were really sharpened for this one.

It appears that you were parachuted into the job. Do you know what that means? Well it means that there was no interview, despite the fact that all public service jobs especially of that high rank must be advertised externally even though the eventual outcom e is rigged, in your case we are reliably informed by one of your friends this did not happen.

This is the story, verified by more than one or two. The CEO at the time Mr. Roy Swainson was on holiday away from the City. He received a letter to say "don't come back" authorised by Marx Dowd Chairman, Marx created his henchman a General no less, the Scales of Justice.

The inference then was that Mr Swainson had a problem over finance. We have been informed that this is fallacious, and further that in private he will even today refute it. However we have also been informed that the threat of a court battle, made clear by the two was too much then and today his silence, remains the same. To understand Merseytravel is to have a sense of the outrageous and ludicrous, with Egos that are dominant with unfettered power mirrored only by the totalitarianism of Marx and the General.

The fact we were told that competitive interviews must take place and must be advertised nationally for such public appointments is compelling evidence of bad management authorised by Marx. The fact that this was a political Labour Driven appointment lends real credence to the reports from the Generals friends we spoke to, that Merseytravel is the Kremlin, staffed by the socialist ideologist who dream of all transport owned and run by the party.

In 1996 the General was in charge, Director of Passenger Services (ironic really Merseytravel had no buses) but he was pushing for the Guided Bus - the misguided bus, to cost us £12.5m when it inevitably failed. The word is that Mr. Swainson opposed the politicisation of M/T.

He went and the rest is history the Labour dominated M/T HAS COST YOU AND US £40M TO DATE (see figs. Below) AND IS STILL RISING IN FEES TO DEVELOP LINES 2 AND 3.

The General we are told took the helm unopposed, unselected not even the hint of selection, and unaccountable - except to the Labour Party Policy forced through by the Labour domination; paid for by the robots you and us!

The domination heralded the creation of an Empire. The dramatic increase in staff and office space quickly overtook the likes of Manchester PTE.

Your friends told us that a Privately funded tram project, gave you nightmares and of course threatened your Miss- Guided Bus project. You issued orders to repel all boarders, your friends tell us that you even sacked or had removed a Senior Officer of St. Helens Council, because he felt that consideration should be given to the private project and that because of that independent thought you took umbrage and as a result you took the chair at all meetings where the possibility of the Private Tram Project may be discussed. Temper! Temper! General - and there's you looking to take on the Chair of the NWDA, SO WE ARE RELIABLY TOLD.

Anyway let's just say we have censored a great deal of your reported domination and suppression of any individual who tried to get that private project a fair hearing. But is it really true that you allowed expenses to be incurred to ensure that your Consultants attended every meeting that the private company held, to oppose in debate and to report to you anything they said? Did you pay them to list some 60 odd questions supposed to have come from you to scuttle finally the Private Tram Project? These accusations are but just a few, but say your friends indicative of your character. ANYWAY lets not quibble of how you got in; you're in, so lets move on.....

Where are we? Oh yes the Miss- Guide Bus is turned down by the Inspector (you just would not listen to the experts who tell us that they continually told you the Technology was not proved ah well you are consistent) even today, the screams from the office of Deputy Dog on reading your letter (yours, and Marx, to be fair) is still a talking point. Marx Dowd's diatribe of public ownership and the New Labours ideas are a sore point. We digress. The Bus failed but not to be defeated you went to the Labour dominated "Well" and drew backing for a ...wait for it ... a Tram. No not the one already privately funded, but another with funds taken from Objective One and the Government Grant Transport Policy. In all £170m is from Government Funds, £50m from NWDA, and Objective One. £12.5m FROM THE ROBOTS. Nice one Birthday Boy.

What is the role of the Merseytravel in a deregulated Transport policy when 95% of all transport is in the private sector? A good question that you have some nice friends. Answer? it is in the Knowsley Labour Dominated Dinosaurs Ancient minds. As above they think in the past and they are never accountable for money they know that the ability to Precept money from the Robots in Wirral St. Helens, Liverpool, Sefton, and Knowsley, will never be seen as them spending money. Local Labour Party gone Mad. We are Lions led by Donkeys.

Darlings recent Directive that all expenditure must stop on all Tram Schemes is totally ignored by our Local Knowsley Labour Party, we are told that you General are still spending thousands a week on your beloved consultants. Even though it is your birthday, we will continue to follow you.

Remember your 5th birthday? Well how about this for your expansion. In 1971 Merseytravel (M/T) ran 2000 buses with a staff of some 400 and lived in 3 floors in Hatton Garden included Fire and Area Traffic Control. Now in 2004 the Birthday boy runs no buses but two ferries and the tunnels with 950 staff and a budget of £250m. Now M/T take up the whole of Hatton Garden and the Bradford Hotel reconditioned of course. Oh by the way we are told that the budget for 1971 was £5m! Manchester Staff AND RUNNING COST today, £250m and for Birmingham £330m

You and Chairman Marx deliberately oppose The National Labour Party's demand to curb public funded tram schemes that are not value for money, every one else does but not you! The both of you must feel very safe, which we are told, you are, of course, backed by the Knowsley Labour Party Group. They carry the majority, but make no mistake your friends tell us that it is all Labour Councillors who collude together to waste so much on so few. We are also told that you employ the Consultants and no one from the staff of Merseytravel. Not quite true there is the one and only M/s Rowlands! Who recently got her way she eventually put up the Tunnel Charge! Nice one Rolly old girl.

While we are here lets have little look at the record of the Labour Group as told to us by your friends shall we?


Smart Buses - cost £15m where are they now?

Electric Buses which your friends say breakdown regularly cost ongoing, see 2008 accounts, hidden till then, see as hidden like the £12.5M loss on the Guided Bus put in 3 years after the failure in the accounts.

Allerton Station was originally costed at £5.5m now! £18.5m and rising New H.Q. £5M cost 2002 now any ones guess no tracking of added costs, say £8m.

New Huyton Bus Station nowhere near Huyton Mersey Train Station £8m

The Generals Empire 950 staff no buses as in 1971 budget from £5m to £250m built on Knowsleys Labour Domination of Councillors on the Merseytravel P.T.A. Chaired by Marx (£65000 p.a.) of course.

Failure of Schemes funded by the Robots on the nod by the Labour Dominated Party Councillors.

This rises and rises of a Reggie Perrin and The Farce of, On the Buses, is not funny. We the tax payers have coughed up close to £40m: £12.5m Guided Bus failure; 12.5m Tram Propaganda; £13.5m extra cost for Allerton Interchange, the one with the platform too small for the Inter-city Trains to stop; and the Airport Bus with we are told an average of 4 passengers per trip; we must admit it did take some believing on that one, but it is true!! £40M in total.


Never mind the Tunnel Toll can be increased come in M/.s Rowlands. Not a peep from the Wirral or lets be honest from us in Kirkby and as usual the Robots. We that is will pay up why? Because we don't challenge the Kirby Labour Group we let them get away with it that's why.

General we do not wish to be too unkind on your birthday but when we tried to "find a friend" of yours in Manchester, your last employer, no one remembers you. Well we cannot tell a lie they did but it is very rude and it is your birthday. Your commitment to Liverpool can be seen in the Limo, Chauffer driven from Manchester to us every day. Just an aside, do you carry a bunch of posies? an air freshener perhaps?

On your special day we also noted in Print, The Echo August 19. 2004 your Payment to your Chairman Marx Dowd is it £34,000 per annum, in total for his "Chairs" (Chippendale we believe) the only thing that the Echo printed on this scandalous occasion. Not a word on your achievements £40m loss and counting. Only your friends remembered, and how! They say that they will keep The Kirkby Times up to speed as you zoom through the £'s and the year ahead with the knowledge that The Kirkby Labour Party will continue to fund and back you to carry out their own policy of Labour Old Guard Public Ownership at the current cost of £ ONE BILLION POUNDS!!

"How much?" we hear you shout - are you ready for this? One Tram line is £350m, times three lines equals £1BN. If you look at the recent Manchester Tram increase (Guardian Sept 12) from £300m to £950m we in Kirkby might wake up. We do hope so.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY General

P.S Chairman Marx sends his best too. Well we would like to think he does.

P.P.S You can tell from the above your "friends are united" and behind you.