"This firm of defamation specialists is the Number One leader in the field of
litigation for slander and libel. The dog's bollocks when it comes to expert
legal advice and suing anything that moves" The Guardian
Rumpole Smarmsworth was founded in 1996 by the leading defamation
lawyer Rumpole Smarmsworth after he successfully sued his parents for
defamation and bankrupted them. His skill for spotting litigation began
at an early age when he tried to sue the headmaster of Oxford Nursery College
of Law who allegedly called him a 'silly boy', though this case failed, it
gave Rumpole a taste for libel, defamation and slander. Rumpole spent 8 years
with the leading defamation lawyer Tarquin Fairweather Colderwood who successfully
sued several survivors of the Hiroshima Atomic Bomb. The survivors made claims that
the USA was 'wrong' for its actions.
Rumpole Smarmsworth Libel and Partners concentrates on defamation and
libel and slander. In narrowing our field of expertise to these
matters of law, we are able to say that we are among the few people
who understand the complexity of this law. Suing is as natural to our
company as breathing. Our statistics show that the average person in
the UK is likely to be defamed at least 34 times per annum and will be
slandered at least 560 times per annum. We hope to educate people so that
they realise they are being damaged by libelous commentary, and it is our
mission to protect the human rights of those libeled.
We are also behind moves to lobby for a widening of the libel and defamation
laws to include a sub section of 'thought crimes', this will enable us to sue
anyone thinking libelous thoughts regarding our clients. It will be the onus of
the accused to prove they have not had libelous thoughts. We are pushing a test
case through which will allow to us to sue a former employee of ours.
Case Histories
Dermott Kwesi Johnson, a 34 year old man convicted of dealing crack cocaine was
aggrieved that his local newspaper called him 'drug dealing scum'. He was also
upset that a witness who he shot before the trial said his 'life was ruined by
Dermott'. We took the case to the European Court of Human Rights and won an
important historic victory. Dermott was awarded
£230,000 damages and is now
midway through a further case which may see him sue a former customer who alleges
that crack cocaine sold by Dermott was 'harmful'.
Uday Hussein, the son of Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein contacted us
after reading comments in the Liverpool Times which alleged he was 'not
a nice man'. After legal moves we settled out of Court for a sum of
£367,000
and a front page apology. Uday was delighted and issued a statement which
spoke of his solicitors as being 'the best that my people's money can buy'.
We are proud to have gained this important victory for Human Rights.
Billy Davies, a 53 yr old Kirkby man wrote to his local papers advice column
alleging that his marriage was 'strained'. His wife contacted us and we duly issued
orders to recover damages, costs and facilitate an apology. We successfully sued Mr
Davies and won damages of
£145,000. Mr Davies lost his home, his car and is now
homeless. A further legal move to win the shirt off his back is being drawn up.
Jimmy Jenkins , aged 12 was called a 'bastard' by a Mr Kevin Curtin whose
window he admittedly smashed with a brick. This slanderous comment eventually
led to the child then returning with a petrol bomb and then later being accused
of causing the deaths by arson of 4 people including Kevin Curtin and his 3
children. We argued that the original slanderous comments by Mr Curtin who
called Jimmy a 'bastard' were the sole cause of the subsequent arson and
alleged murder. We successfully sued the widow of Kevin Curtin for damages
totaling
£387,000 and also took out a restraining order preventing the
funeral taking place as the public display of grief may have been
interpreted as 'an aggressive public display of feelings' to Jimmy
Jenkins.
Danny's Pet store in Kirkby Town Centre was one of our more
publicised cases. It began when a 31 yr old woman Mrs Redmond Davies
was initially amused by a parrot which had become able to speak a few
sentences. Unfortunately for the shop owner, one of the strings of words
uttered by the bird was 'hello fatty bum bum' This libelous statement
caused intense distress to Mrs Davies and proceedings were issued as soon
as we were able to determine that the Pet shop Owner was responsible.
We gained damages of
£277,000. The parrot was destroyed.
Here's what our clients had to say about our attentive services.
"If litigation law is a Jungle, the firm of Rumpole Smarmsworth Libel
and Partners is a lion which pounces on the smaller animals scurrying in the shrubbery.
The Daily Mirror
"In the dog eat dog world of defamation law the name of Rumpole Smarmsworth
stands out like a giant 70 foot pit bull terrier."
Pet Shop Owner chronicle
"They provide an excellent service and helped me achieve Justice."
Idi Amin, Ex Dictator and murdering scumbag.
"They got me sorted when a pensioner I mugged went on to slander me,
now I can afford to buy really good heroin without mugging old
codgers, this firm is great"
Johnny Mc Thug
We hope you use our services for all you litigation needs. Remember,
if it moves, its likely committing libel in some way shape or form. Help us
to help you so we can all help ourselves to someone else's money without ever doing
an honest days work. Defamation is the fastest growing crime in the UK, as you read
this you are being defamed somewhere by someone and we can help to sue them.
Sue someone online!
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