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Oasis in Service Station Brawl
Kirkby Times Photographer fights Oasis!
Shocking scenes in Motorway Service Station
A Kirkby Times photographer who cannot be named due to legal difficulties, spoke today about a recent incident involving
the Gallagher Brothers of Oasis. The incident has been kept quiet till now and we have EXCLUSIVE news of the incident here.
Shock Oasis Brawl
Kirkby Times was recently caught up in an incident with the Gallagher brothers of Manchester Band Oasis. The incident came after the Gallagher brothers pulled up into a service station and sat down near where one of our photographer's was sitting.
Chips Egg and beans
Our photographer stated " I didn't even recognize who they were, I just noticed some kn****** wearing a pair of big purple sunglasses dressed in a white fur coat followed by some lad wearing a status quo uniform of Black leather jacket and jeans. Both of these blokes seemed to be staring at me as I tried to eat a pretty disgusting chips and fried egg and beans.
Pass the Pepper please!
The strange pair seated near me asked me for some pepper, I indicated that they could come over and get it , to which the leather jacketed one said "Oh, f****** Scouse are you?" I tried to ignore the comment but was told to "F******* bring the pepper here now you Scouse f****** w******" The two spoke with heavy Manchester accents and looked like they were maybe using heroin, I tried to ignore the comments but they continued to shout out remarks like " bring the F****** pepper here you scouse t***" and then the Older one of the Two said "Don't you know who the F*** WE are!" Then I was amazed as the two jumped up onto the Table in front of them and began singing, one of the people serving in this service station then ran over and said "Oh my god, its Oasis!"
Fight!
By then I was extremely pi***** off at the antics of these two idiots, to my horror the meal I'd ordered was going cold and I was pretty much fed up at having my meal disturbed in this manner. I raised my fork to try to eat what was left, and in front of me appears a hand which snatches up the pepper. I lost it at that point, I was about to use the pepper and some fur coated, purple sun glasses wearing half arsed Rock Star has to mess it all up. An hungry man is an angry man and I was overcome with rage as I looked at the half eaten contents of the meal, looked at the white of the fried egg where, by rights, there should have been a fine sprinkling of pepper.
Losing your Appetite
The tables contents were threw onto the floor,I hate cold food at the best of times, I don't take to kind to celebrities spoiling my appetite. Yeh, at this point I lost it big time! I ran over to Oasis and swept their meals to the floor landing a pretty good combination to who I now know was Noel and getting in a very handy kick to the b****** to Liam. What happened next is unclear, but witnesses swear that somehow, I unscrewed the pepper pot and forced it down the throat of Noel, I was hit by a tray to the head by Liam and somehow managed to push him back into the knives and forks trays, where a few swift kicks seemed to have curtailed the enthusiasm he had. I must add that I was acting in self defence at this point as Liam was telling me he would "Stab my fu**** eyes out and tried to reach for the knives scattered around him. I had no choice but to prevent this crime by throwing a tea urn onto the head of this sad individual, I would have walked away but I fear a service station knife may have ended my career in Photography
Coleslaw to the Face!
Just before I left I managed to get hold of a bowl of coleslaw and rubbed it into the faces of this, by now, very sorry looking pop duo. By now, the legendary fighting prowess of Oasis had been ridiculed and laid to rest. All I wanted was to sit down and eat my Chips Eggs and Beans, maybe a couple of rounds of bread, and tea of course! Luckily a few miles up the road, after I made good my escape, I was lucky to come across a decent Café, nice food, only £3 for the lot!, and no bloody pop or rock stars to spoil it all by starting fights over pepper.
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